If I Was An Animal…..

Which one would I like to be? Okay I know that’s a weird question but isn’t the weird what’s interesting. Come on like everybody’s seen a cat cuddling into somebody and been envious of the heavenly strokes of love that Cat received .Likewise Dogs  are apparently man’s best friend, they  just roll over cutely, play dead and  then get the divine tummy rub  back to life. Are we not a little Jealous? Would we’d all not love a tummy rub. Anyhow what Animal would I like to be?

Well   I’ve already been talking about cats, nevertheless would I really like to be one? Now I love how compCatared to dogs their very  independent and I’m  an Independent individual  so obviously that’s a plus and  in addition I’ve often found whiskers to be a tasty snack after a night out. Although I don’t fancy the Tom and Jerry structure of life, you see to me mice don’t make appetising side dishes! So I couldn’t be a cat.

Okay   maybe I’d   enjoy freedom. Maybe I should go wild! What about life as a Tiger?
Hmm being a tiger certainly has a lot to like about it. Such as the Tigermajority of animals are afraid of you, even humans but then again they’re…I mean we’re not bravest of mammals.What about a Lion? I loved ‘The Lion King ‘however that was more a tragedy, so maybe not. As Wonderful as Lions or tigers are they have to get up and hunt for all their food and as much I l would love to lie, I won’t , I’d be too lazy to hunt and it’s unlikely there be a takeaway nearby .Anyways for the above reason Lions, Tigers, Cheetahs, Jaguars, Foxes or anything else that needs to hunt every day for their munches wouldn’t appeal to me
.

Would one be gone barking mad to imagine life as a Bow Wow aka Dog ?  Definitely not as there are many pluses to being a dog. Which include guarantee of food. In addition all I would have to do for attention is play dead or give my adoptive parents the paw. Ah a dog’s life is a beautiful one except for one major factor. They don’t live that long and unlike a cat they haven’t got nine lives. So as great as they are I’ve decide to decline doggy style!

I could be a Bird? Okay straight mark off the life of a chicken, I’ve seen the film Chicken Run.  What about the life of an Eagle? Now that wouldn’t be bad. Nevertheless the truth be told I wouldn’t trust myself to fly …I’ve drank Red Bull before and  it gave me no wings. Damn false advertising.

A Snake…I rather not contain poison.  A Kangaroo? No thanks you. What about a Frog? In many ways this would suit me .For instance a Princess  could  kiss me,  we could marry  and guess what I could become ….Tame my imagination, knowing my luck, I’d end up on a French Restaurant’s plate.Frog

Talking about ending up on a plate I’ve always admired the expression ‘as happy as a pig in shit’ .Nonetheless nearly all of the poor little piggy’s take a stroll to a butchers .So I’ll pass this time.

A Panda? Fuck it there admired for eating bamboo and sleeping the rest of the day .Plus there mostly rare species so I’m definitely going to get the special treatment .Fpandaurthermore I’d  be like Hugh Heffnor cause   their always looking for male pandas to rock the boat. Hey this
is the first one I’m definitely considering.

Maybe I could become a Fish. Obviously not Cod, Haddock, Salmon, or anything that ends up battered. Yet what about a Dolphin they’re always cool or maybe a whale there frigging awesome too. Though I will definitely not become a shark since I am a lover not a hater! #WorldPeace         None the less I shall be honest, I am one who is only kind of able swim. So becoming a soldier of the sea doesn’t really float my boat.

I have often pondered about Gorillas, while observing them in the Zoos  they’ve seemed a little like an innocentarticle-2604010-1D117C4D00000578-291_634x782 prisoner. There very close to us and in history Apes, Monkeys and Gorillas have been treated very poorly, wildly used for medicine testing. In addition, many who know me already would state that I very much  already resemble a gorilla.

Alright then I’ve thought deeply and the result is that there are only two animals who’s lives would really interest me. I’ve e already stated that a panda is in the running and his competitor is an Elephant! Which do appeal to me for their such gentle giants! They’ve got tremendous tusks that can strike terror into nearly all competitors.  However, there are some negatives like humans could end up using me (as an Elephant) as transport or I could possibly end up in a cruel circus.

Now time to choose. Which will I become…..in my dreams. The answer is one whom I feel would best suit my relaxed lifestyle and that is life as a Panda. Maybe I could save them from extinction and even star in a remake of Disney’s Panda.

So you’ve discovered in this piece the weird places my mind does wonder too. Now come on be honest, you’re thinking what animal you’d become aren’t you? Maybe leave your choice in the Comments.

Twitter @SirChrisDaRebel

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